Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
Why was I handcuffed to the roof?
It was easier then trying to explain why you couldn't fly
I ate the snowman's head. That is not a drug euphemism.
She just threw the soap bottle at me from the ladie's room and keeps asking me when we left the bar and got on the boat.
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
I just had a mental image of us riding a tractor through hell with one of those big guns mounted on top of it shooting at everyone while the indiana jones music plays.
I sent him a tit pic with the caption, "Mt. Arie and Mt. Hola are ready for expedition." Too nerdy?
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
You should come over tomorrow. Wine, pizza and my vagina. Those are all great things.
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
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