i'm returning your mother's day gift to finance my alcoholism over the next week.
just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
and I'm sitting five inches from the tv scrunched up in a ball watching doug. It's like I'm five again...except I'm more stoned than the dude who created this show
shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
don't tell me about being eco-friendly. i just threw up in the same bag i bought my liquor in. RECYCLING
Vague recollection of me ripping your shirt off at the bar... I hope I asked first, otherwise that's real rude.
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
If I get really high and watch Beauty and The Beast on our Netflx account, will you judge me?
Only if you start before I get home!
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