We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
I'm just that much of a man that I can watch Ellen and Oprah back to back and still like girls.
just woke up with an anonymous loaf of bred in my bed and a piece in my mouth. this says alot about my life.
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
He spent the entire date challenging me to chugging contests.
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
I found you laying in a field of grass near the trail I jog on in the morning like a drunken Bambi.
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
Man, it's really obvious that I was either handcuffed or tied up last night. Either way, not something you'd want coworkers knowing.
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
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