I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
So my girlfriend used a threesome to tell me she wanted to leave me for a girl... Not entirely sure how I should feel about that.
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
My neighbor asked me to tell you to stop changing in front of their house. Do I even want to know?
Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs.
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
I puked so hard this morning that I peed my pants. I'm a gem.
Let's have sex in an apple orchard
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
Also I know you probably did not understand anything I said on the phone last night but thank you for pretending.
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
DO NOT TRY TO APPROACH HER CAT. IT IS A DEMON CAT FROM SATAN'S BALLS AND IT *WILL* TRY TO KILL YOU. I SPEAK FROM EXPIRENCE.
Randomize
