the ugly redhead just came into the bar, wearing a sombrero...by herself... who is going to tell her that its not cool to throw themed parties when you're the only guest?
why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
just landed in detroit. Currently holding a bag of my own vomit. neighbor told me it was the most graceful vom she has ever seen. Kicking off bar exam week in style.
He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
Well, I now know how many glasses of wine it takes for me to fuck my neighbor.
This was baby jesus's way of getting you to wait until the next bikini wax
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
I found him in bed on a pullout couch with another dude. He had two empty puke buckets and his empty bottle of jagermeister right by his head.
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
Randomize
