Awesome morning. I just met my boyfriend's wife, should I have shaken her hand or was the hug a tad over the top?
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
You couldn't even walk but you came into the kitchen with the funnel and begged me to put beer in it
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
Sometimes I refuse to go through a door until someone holds it open for me because I'm a fucking lady.
That's a gentle way of saying I passed out like an 18-year-old on his first trip to Tijuana
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
Randomize
