I didn't talk to you tonight because I've decided you look like a man.
I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
One of my friends found 6 bags of gummy bears on the roof. He lives a building over. Apparently even hammered you still have quite an arm
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
Fingerblasting some girl on the deck tryna get her to fuck on a lifeboat
I just woke up to myself peeing the bed. Happy hump day! I'll never get married.
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
He must be a special kind of stupid to cheat on a women who works at a funeral home. Does he not understand you can get rid of dead bodies easier than most Americans?
Sometimes having a penis is like having a really stupid drunk best friend. You see it doing dumb shit but you're just not the one in charge.
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
Randomize
