Haha Tomato, Tomato. That doesn't work very well via text message.
Come on... In this relationship-economy, you gotta have "awesome blowjobs" on your resume.
Jenna and Ryan are ranting and raving about child custody. MY VASECTOMY SMILES.
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
Dude, fuck the siberian warm up. You can't put vodka in hot chocolate. Learn from my mistakes
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
I don't get hangovers. Except once. And there is a massively epic story behind that, involving so much alcohol I should have died, and 13 raw hotdogs.
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
I described my life as a 7 layer cake of death
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
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