where are you
in your bedroom
how did you get in
your wife…
WTF
Decided to write a book called "girls don't poop and other myths I wish I still believed in"
pretty sure mid blowjob I told him I needed to call you and ask you if this was whore-ish. He hid my phone from me.
New all-time record for most uncomfortable I've ever been. A midget just asked me to restrap his fanny pack in the bathroom.
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
We were simultaneously boning chicks 3 feet away from each other. Do you realize how much that upped our 15 year friendship?
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
I found a loose wire in my thermostat. Couldn't find the pliers, so I used a nipple clamp to fix it.
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
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