so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
So what if i ate it off the ground. Its like i found a five dollar bill just laying there, in burrito form.
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
She just pulled out a chicken strip and a hundred dollar bill from her purse. This is a legit twentyfirst bday weekend.
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
Gravity stopped and i'm discussing Greek philosophy with two guys I don't know. There's someone asleep on me. We need to use their dealer.
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
Please note: when a bouncer tells you to leave, pointing out that their career path makes them a much better judge what to do will not make you friends
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
When you wake up so hungover that you don't even wanna cough for fear of vomiting... It's not gunna be a good day.
You know it was a good night when you're lying on the couch in your pjs at 4pm having a pitcher of ice water for breakfast.
Now that I'm sober, I'm realizing you put your name in my phone as "wowww"
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
Randomize
