So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
my boobs just fell out on the dance floor. my wedding is totally beating your wedding
Walked into this guys room, saw a tickle me elmo under his desk with white stains in its mouth. This is awkward.
I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
If you don't get head tonight I will castrate you
Seriously. Castrate.
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
I've spent my afternoon dipping strawberries in DayQuil if that's any indication of where I'm at in life.
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
Emojis can't explain what he felt when that ass dropped
I could tell my life story through kermit memes
A guy in a chewbacca suit just came up to me and asked me to buy him weed.
Randomize
