Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
she went apple picking. why dont we do cute things like that? let's go to a pumpkin patch!
because we're not cute. we're sluts. and sluts don't go apple picking.
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
You realize at the bar last night we blew on imaginary whistles like rose from titanic right?
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
Speaking of ejaculate, did you get the side of your car cleaned off?
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
this one kid was speed-mumbling about putting broccoli in the printer
Brunch got away from me. I might be a little high.
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
My ex is having a baby and I'm over here planning my dogs birthday celebration...
When is the party?
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
No, no... It was great. I feel like my liver took a vodka shower and washed it's hair with pabst
Randomize
