Christians are straight up FREAKS
I just called a phone sex line and you know what I did? I sat there and cried
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
She just texted me that she's horny, then started quoted random music, then telling me everything she regrets. I don't think there's enough tequila in the world for me to deal with her...
I shit myself. Legit. And I burnt my tongue. Unrelated incidents, but related in the sense of general discomfort.
Would you be mad if I just used the argument "I'm allowed to say that, my best friend is a lesbian"?
Never. I'm proud to help you win arguments.
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
No foreplay. Missionary. Too quick. And he owns a fedora.
I almost fell asleep reading that.
I almost fell asleep fucking it.
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
Also mom is not happy about me telling her how much i want the women sprinters on the Olympics to beat me up
Not this time. I'm drinking in my sweatpants which means I've given up for the day and shouldn't be in public.
Babe, I'm gunna be straight with you. When you act like a dick it makes me regret not fucking my manager last week.
I deserve a medal for being woke up at 6am on my day off by your mother asking where your brother is
There will be plenty of opportunity for me to sexualize Mike via VenMo.
Randomize
