You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
where does the pee come out of this thing
I wish I has some fucking Fairy God Parents, I want a kit kat so bad.
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
I should have known I was in trouble when you started pouring shots all over me
You were screaming across the bar "BUYING US SHOTS ISN'T GOING TO MAKE US STRAIGHT, YA KNOW!!!!!!!!"
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
btw you left your chapstick on the nightstand and bruises on my body...
gifts from me to you. you're welcome.
He called some chick he used to fuck for cash to get food delivered to cheer me up
WHY IS THE HAIRSPRAY SOUNDTRACK PLAYING IN THE LIQUOR STORE
I lost a bet last night, now I have to name the baby Fetty Wap, regardless of gender. Riley is going to kill me.
I just licked wine off my own thigh. I've hit a new low.
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
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