You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
i think i should save myself the $200 for a prom dress. i mean why bother. its just going to be covered in vodka/jizz/and puke by the end of the night.
Just puked in the monkey exhibit at the zoo. They ate it. I don't want a pet monkey anymore.
Doing laundry, just found a knob off your stove in my pants pocket. I don't know.
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
My cat clawed my face because i tried to give it a foot massage...never doing shrooms again.
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
Aaaaaaaand dick pic. God bless america, and god bless tinder.
This isn't good. I can't find my mom. This is why we don't give her Fireball.
Randomize
