I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
Taking my tights off outside the club to give them to the homeless man was my contribution to humanity. The fact that it was snowing just made me feel like superman.
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
The bride and groom wore the Batman masks I brought. Best wedding ever.
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
According to my Fitbit I was passed out in my car for 2 hours after she got us kicked out of the bar
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
last night i was way too drunk and i was forcing people to let me tell them about mammals
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
Randomize
