ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
Come get your boy. He's cuddling with a bag of rice on the floor.
and if planning a fake elopement keeps me from fucking strangers and doing drugs, i think it's good for me
I just hope the day something happens to me my phone just dies, like literally died and will never turn on ever again. I feel like God owes me that much.
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
Who told you that acid and Jurassic World was a good idea?
dont remember, but I'm pretty sure I was convinced that the hybrid dinosaur was satan the whole time. It was actually very spiritual
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
How high are you rn
Well I just ate a cheesecake straight from the box with a fork and now I’m laying upside down in a recliner chair seeing if I can Uber eats Doritos
So not that high
Randomize
