Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.
In hindsight, buying 4 different kinds of vibrators at once may have been a little overenthusiastic of me.
She told me my parents were awesome for leaving me uncircumcised...
Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
They called it unicorn pee, and i thought that was interesting so i drank it. Please don't let me drink strangers booze again.
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
I am stoned at Disneyland with my little brother. It's gonna be a good day.
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
I stole a tiki torch last night and just returned it. Things have been better.
Never thought I'd say this, but getting head from a skeleton was better than I thought. Happy Halloween
The amount of drunk I'm going to get tonight will be somewhere between Jim lahey and bojack horseman
I wanna eat mushrooms and cuddle with a million dogs at once. I wanna know what heaven is like
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