My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
We've made a drinking game out of how many times the tornado sirens go off. We're good at tornado safety.
On the bright side I got 500 American Express points paying for the abortion
Going to bed. I have to wake up early and teach small children. And then have affairs with their fathers. I'm going to get deported.
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
A man in denim coveralls just shotgunned a beer on the dance floor
I look like shit btw. Like the joker from Batman.
I'm not sure how that's possible unless you put on face paint. Which I would respect.
I smell like hot dogs and captain morgan it's 11:20 am what is my life
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
As long as it's before midnight it's cool. But it would be understandable to ring in my new year shitting myself just before I go to Iraq.
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
Randomize
