After she threw up on my floor she started singing "this is why I'm hot."
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
either way he was missing a nipple.
Just stole a pregnancy test from Wegmans because I didn't want to pay 13 dollars to find out my life is over.
She just sat there, all alone, with a bottle of booze. And the dog. He even looked like he didn't wanna be there with her.
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
I told her my cab was outside the club and that I had to go, but I think we both knew this wasn't going anywhere past the sloppy bathroom handjob.
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
Apparently she broke up w/ her bf like 3 weeks ago. She actually called me to be her bday hookup cause she's single now. Patience- the virtue that occasionally pays off.
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
Also that boy who jizzed in me wearing Cowboy boots and a plaid shirt snapped me at 4 am and said "I owe you a dinner. Sorry"
It's best not to have your booty call on social media. So if they post stupid shit, you still want to fuck them.
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
Randomize
