This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
You realize at the bar last night we blew on imaginary whistles like rose from titanic right?
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
As he walked by me and gave me his dreamy smile full of dimples all i could think was 'I gave you chlamydia'.
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
I have chicken nuggets, lube and brand new batteries, he can stay at work charting all weekend for all I care, I'm set.
Welp. June's off to a great start. I just ripped my pants, completely sober, at 10:30 p.m.
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
It was funny for a while but 3 days later I still can't walk and I've constructed a diaper-like contraption to hold the ice pack on my vagina.
Randomize
