Not a fireman, but good enough for last night.
you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
you kept trying to convince me i had aids because my head hurt
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
My cab driver just suggested I brush my teeth because he can smell "the party" on me.
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
We both got free alcohol and got laid by foreign men last night.
I'm not going out again for the rest of my life. I can't top this.
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
Had a dream I dropped the L word and immediately threatened to kill myself
You probably shouldn't be having nightmares about expressing affection
She walked into the kitchen, said 'we've come to this time of the party,' reached into the bowl of cold spaghetti and shoved a handful in her mouth.
Today's forecast: 90% chance of bad decisions, good stories, solid new dick and artichoke pizza
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
Randomize
