I would drag my balls through a mile of broken glass to eat pudding out of her anus
can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
Dude a guy just showed up with alcohol and a bag of double cheese burgers. I think I found my future husband.
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
It's 4PM and I'm finally awake.. I'm covered in dog fur and shame. I'd say it counts as a good night.
How creepy of a mustache can you grow by wednesday night?
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
I'm helping my Mormon ex boyfriend from high school embrace his inner cross dresser. This is truly god's work.
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
I didn't know where we were going to start fucking, so I just strategically hid condoms all over the house before he came over.
The lowest point of my life has been reached. I just drank half a jar of pasta sauce.
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
Randomize
