You're completely useless in the revolution.
Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
Considering last night's endeavors, I am going to hell 5 times over. 1 for puking on a hobo, 1 for laughing about it, and 3 for remembering it today and laughing about it sober
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
I'm sober enough to realize she looks like a man, but drunk enough to do it anyways
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
Idk, you were a drunk pirate that kept stealing pieces of people's costumes to keep as your booty.
That would explain all the random shit in my room...
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
"You're the only girl I haven't made out with yet" = worst pick up line ever
you know what? fuck you, fuck your nana, and ESPECIALLY FUCK THE BLACKHAWKS.
a day off where I don’t get laid would be worthless
everytime he speaks i want to fuck him less. i just wanna tell him to shut up and take his pants off and we could both be happy.
Still drunk, heading to class.
It's 3 a.m. Dude
Doesn't mean I'm not at my desk. Ill wait.
Dude we were sitting at my place stoned as fuk then someone knocks on the door and it was my neighbor giving me a huge box of cookie dough. Magic of weed.
Randomize
