Bought a water-proof vibrator. Rubber ducky is no longer the one that makes bathtime so much fun.
I just wanted to let you know I just licked gravy off of my boobs. Just putting that out there.
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
So the bump is from hitting my head in an elevator. Apparently I dived into a cab head first too.....
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
Remember that time I got suspended in eighth grade, well it was like that but I was on acid and wearing goggles
I just made a flawless coverstory for why I dont have my car and why I left the party on foot. #adultererskills
Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
No, I told him I was busy again this weekend. Eventually he’ll learn. Plus, absence makes the cock grow harder
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