Jesus was obviously not given an itemized list of your sins before he died for them
dude. late night with jimmy fallon isnt even funny. the people in the audience there to see him dont even think hes funny.
kinda like you and your friends.
Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
I just brushed my teeth. In the car. With watered down Sprite. From Saturday. Multi-tasking at its finest.
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
Also while I’m drunk I saw your penis in like 4th grade when I walked past the boys bathroom
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
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