You just made me feel so damn special
I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
Some guy on the train just glared at me. So I'm drinking tequilla out of a dixie cup. Go fuck yourself.
but instead of smelling like hand cream and homemade cookies, she smells like a yeast infection.
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
i knew it was time to leave when he woke me up only wearing pooh bear oven mitts and holding a plate of thank you pancakes
He set 8 alarms to make sure I took my birth control on time..
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
Was behind a guy going 20 for 4 miles I'll be there as soon as the universe quits fucking me
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
My Dachshund waddled into the room carrying a rolled-up pad in her mouth with period blood. This day is clearly off to a good start.
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