shes about as inviting as chlamydia
From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
Cancel that soberness update. I just almost fell down in the security line
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
I guess birthday shots aren't always the answer
This theraflu would make for a great margarita.
I can make a sudafedarita
You crawled everywhere and rolled in ice cream. No more vodka for a month.
That bitch makes my crazy look like a walk in the park with cotton candy
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
It's not really the holidays until I raid the medicine cabinet. Happy hydrocodone to me
And a merry methadone to all
EITHER I'M HIGH OR JUST REACHED A NEW LEVEL OF SINGLE FEMALE SADNESS BECAUSE THIS BROWNIE IS GIVING ME ORGASMS
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
I've peed in two sinks in the past two weeks. No one should be able to say that.
Randomize
