Please tell me you did not just serenade her with "Let's Get it On"?
Yeah I think it worked. My penis thanks you, Captain Morgan.
I told her I had to go to work this morning, got fully dressed in a suit, walked her out, drove around the block, parked, and walked right back in my apt and went back to sleep..
Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
Slept in my car last night. It snowed. I peed on the street. Hello 29...
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
i tied my phone to a string attached to my bra. i am NOT losing it tonight
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
Cause I'll toss Tabasco sauce in his eyes and yell "Cobra attack" and walk away
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
Randomize
