it's too hot outside to masturbate.
Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
I woke up in your car in the McDonalds parking lot. What the hell happened to 'no man left behind'?
Oh I woke up in my neighbors garage using one of their sleeping bags, as my neighbor was doing laundry in there.
So I realized I was officially over him when I was getting a lap dance on the keg bus at 3am from his old boss and I was double fisting:)
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
Are you texting, crying and driving?
And missing part of my eyebrow. Correct that is the description one would give of me at the moment.
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
Yo i still have 5 hrs left of work. I should not be this drunk
Randomize
