doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
I'm pretty sure I have jizz on the back of the dress I wore to church. Awesome.
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
Remember when I said "no boyfriend, no problems"? I lied. Tequila. Tequila is a problem.
So the contents found in my winter coats this year: coat 1, condom and 10$. Coat 2, condom and 75$ check. Coat 3, 2.05$ and a sunflower seed.
Obviously coat 3 had the best time since you used the condom and all of the money
I think it says something about my sobriety when I don't notice a Taco Bell wrapper stuck to my ass until I'm in the shower...
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
Everyone should just give me a copy of their keys. I take your dog out and I bring beer.
His parents came home, and now I'm hiding in a closet; awaiting death at dawn.
You are always hiding in a closet though??
I haven't heard from him yet. He's either still asleep (which is entirely plausible..... There wasn't much sleeping happening last night) or he's robbing me blind. But I have renters insurance, so either way, I'm ok with it.
Hypothetically speaking...if I was arrested in Wisconsin, say Kenosha county, would you post my bail all the way from Oregon? If yes, will you also accept my collect call in t-minus 13 hours?
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
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