I changed my tire completely alone.. I could totally win survivor
Its my greatest physical accomplishment
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
He had to carry me to the car. But then sat with me and waited for me to sober up enough to have sex. He's a keeper.
hey fuckhead. when i said not to grow shrooms in our apartment, that didn't mean "yea, sure. grow shrooms in our apartment"
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook?
No, the moral of my Oxford interview was "Never snort caffeine pills".
OH MY GOD IT'S LIKE SHOOTING FISH IN A BARREL, EXCEPT INSTEAD OF FISH THEY ARE FIGHTER PILOTS
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
Sorry for trying to baptize you last night
You knew the entire thing in Latin I was so impressed
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
Randomize
