Don't bite the hand that gives you multiple orgasms
we just finished making mockaritas... then we prayed
god you guys know how to party
worst. bachelorette party. ever.
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
Just saw a 300lb woman fall down. Shes screaming like a beached manatee. Her 120lb boyfriend is trying to push her up. It's like watching an infant try to bench
Moral of the story: If you're gonna throw a glass of wine in a guy's face, don't do it in your own kitchen.
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
Note to self: last nights makeup does NOT, under ANY circumstances, look good today.
Heb just said, and I quote, "let's go to Who's On Third and fuck a fishbowl with our mouths. I am going to fuck this van." and then he humped a van.
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
I felt like I needed to shower with a Mr. Clean Magic Eraser.
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
Randomize
