CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
at this point every shot is just a haymaker to my liver
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Annabeth just got on the bar and slurred something about how she was worried that when she started dating you your penis wouldnt fit. You are one lucky bastard my friend.
We could supplement the Tour with Edward Andre-hands. Because 40s are for the 99%.
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
It's a little weird that I'm blowing my wingman.
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
I woke up this morning and my house is covered in shredded cheese with my laptop open and a google image search for "awesome shit".
Randomize
