No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
I have eleven tally marks and an infinity sign drawn on my wrist in permanent marker. Senior bar crawl stole my liver.
Someones car got stolen, everyone is yelling, and im drunk just sayin yeah buddy over and over again
Had a drunk dream about being in a six story taco bell. Oh my god the menu was incredibleeee
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
Birthday was great, I got entirely too drunk and made really poor life decisions. It was everything a birthday should be.
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
the bride at the wedding we just crashed said we can stay only if we strip for her. You need to get down here
He just got here and all he's wearing is a cloth over his penis.
I'll uninvite my mom
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
I'm smoking in a kimono on the couch. Bring me gin.
Randomize
