My feet smell like cheese. Makes me hungry.
Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
can you take me to a tanning bed
sure, why though?
i have to go once so i can blame these herpes on the tanning bed and she won't get suspicious
My cousin just asked what abortion is. Happy Holidays.
I just saw her take the entire bowl of lime wedges from the bar and pour them all in her purse, and now using the empty bowl as a hat. Waiting for security to come and throw her ass out.
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
I feel bad for her, but I feel like she's one of those resource-raping alien civilizations that visits planets, decimates them and then leaves. Those really aren't the qualities I appreciate in a friend. Ya know?
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
This is gonna be the kind of weekend where if it involves putting on pants, it ain't happening.
Yeah well I just had an orgasm on my bathroom floor so there's a first for everything I guess
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
You know, you could always move. Lol somewhere without gators, water moccasins, and Marco Rubio.
Randomize
