it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
Blacked out at the beach and unblacked out at a piano bar singing Tiny Dancer.
It was honestly the most delicious alcohol I've ever drank, plus the added risk of going blind from methanol poisoning really enhanced the experience.
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
I'm starting to think I didn't bring enough liquor for this family Christmas.
It's 2 pm....
Ya know what's been the best part of this College Football Season? Not having to hear Brent Musberger say the Honey Badger 77 fucking times.
i mean i'm drinking free wine with lesbians and listening to sinead oconnor so i'm not sure who won that breakup
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
The moment I was petting the giraffe was the moment I passed out
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
As we were walking to her place she stole a pizza from the delivery guy's car and when we got home she grabbed a slice, two beers, removed her pants, and said "call of duty?" im going to marry her
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
Randomize
