Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
Why did I wake up with "How to masturbate" on my youtube search bar?
You told us you forgot how, and started to cry.
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
I woke up with cheeseburger in my mouth and a deep sense of accomplishment.
That's the last time you call me to prove to some girl at a bar that you're English. It's bad enough that you actually get to fuck them because of it without having to wake me up to seal the deal.
Did you ever stop and think that god invented whiskey dick specifically for me
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
Buying her a drink is like giving a seagull a French fry, all you're gonna do is get annoyed and shit on
I was woke up by the fucking Star Spangled Banner this morning. I sat up in bed and put my hand over my naked heart. I was so confused
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
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