She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
VITAMINS IN VODKA. IM NOT LYING.
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
Freshman just walked up and thanked me for letting him hide under my bed when the cops showed up to the house last weekend
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
Gosh, I don't even have that. Let alone someone to tie me up and whip me with Twizzlers.
Just realized I'm going to have to make you sign a non-disclosure agreement before my wedding.
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
..needless to say, i got fired. But I'm in the parking lot tanning on top of your car... so its not all bad.
Throwing my sister a bisexual bachelorette party was the best idea ever. I made out with both strippers and the hot bartender promised to "gay marry" me if I take him as my date to the wedding.
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
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