Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
thanks for not screaming that I'm pregnant when that guy was giving me his number.
The girl behind me at the dollar store said couldn't wait to get her permit, then requested a pregnancy test. God I love being home.
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
You ordered 6 boxes of pizza and laughed in the pizza guys face when you didn't pay for any of them.
I'm standing outside of the bar watching homeless men teach a kid how to pee of the sidewalk.
Dude, someone broke the toilet seat in two, the is a pair of panties on the kitchen counter, and the entire house smells like a brewery
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
I'm gonna go ahead and say I love our drinking habits but anytime we roundhouse a 750 of Schnapps on the way to a non competitive bowling league we might have problems
Powdered alcohol is a real thing now. Move over crystal light... Water bottles rejoice!!
No one likes wet exercise unless it's vigorous sex in the shower
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after
Your sister walked upto me in the middle of the hallway and was like get us beer or shes never having sex with you ever again, wtf
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