Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
btw, i had a dream i drank 260-proof vodka last night. thank god that doesn't exist in real life.
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
Also got home. Still stoned. Mom was up. We made a pizza and were writing a children's book. Sleep good.
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
apparently the last bar didn't like my halloween costume with syringes filled with whiskey
Celebrating anything "Eve" is never a good choice! I feel like my soul's been put in a blender on the "destroy" setting- in other news: Happy 4th of July
Sometimes crazy just comes naturally. I don't need booze to say that on occasion I feel the need to rip off my asshole and throw it against the fridge to see if it sticks.
It's like... Even my horoscope knows I had an awkward threesome last night.
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
Ya, It's probably because whenever I close my eyes I see a kitten playing a banjo.
Remember that one time you told the bartender he was fuckable? Well, he's here.
Randomize
