I gave up sex with dolphins for you.
just to let you know, don't open your linen closet for a while until i come over with a cleaning kit and geek squad
she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
you never realize your highschool teachers are real people till you fuck one of them
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
I think it's safe to say taking shots on the way to the emergency room was rock bottom. We're going to need to think of ways to top that between now and next new years eve...
if you had such a terrible roommate you would understand. jacking off in his conditioner is just the start.
The bed I'm sleeping in has a headboard only handcuffs could love. I'm gonna pick up a local dude and wreck that.
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
I'm handling the NHL draft worse than getting dumped this week
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
Come home... I’m drinking and playing with knives
Well when I woke up this morning I didn’t think I’d be masturbating to my own LinkedIn profile today but here we are
Randomize
