ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
did you know that snuggie is the perfect anti-freak out aid for stoners? it weighs you down so you can't go anywhere. just sit there and enjoy the movie, that's right.
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
Nothing quite says Coachella like me doing high yoga in the middle of a field by myself
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
The paramedics were not my fault this time.
I'm pretty sure the Jahovah's witness only came to our door because the front says "Twerk Or Treat"
Despite breaking my phone, thumb, and my dignity, last night was pretty good.
I swear I get as excited about the sound of a condom wrapper as my cat gets when she's getting a can of food.
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
I think I just scared the sex out of my booty call. He saw me at the grocery store using one of those "future mother" parking spots right next to the handicap ones. He just made eye contact and drove off. I regret my laziness.
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
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