Well the candle wax mightve been sexy if he didn't drop the candle and light half my bed on fire
And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
I'm not sure what happened last night, but my turtle seems afraid of me.
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
I feel like somehow my uterus ended up in my ribcage from all the keg stands i did last night..
Aaaaand that would be the most of my hand I've ever fit into a vagina before.
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
No teenage boy ever gets scared away from sex unless she is slipping a wedding ring on your finger or is killing your cat. I promise.
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
We perfected the quiet ass slap during sex so his roommate wouldn't wake up.
Would you by any chance know if there is a proper protocol for traveling with one's vibrator? I wouldn't want the TSA to rip open my suitcase in front of my boss.
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
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