party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
She STILL went home with me even when I said yes when she asked if I had an infectious disease. Turns out she asked if I had an infectious spirit...well she has my infectious spirit now
She just used a chaser for red wine.
can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
Today's face brought to you by last night's make-up.
OMG HE JUST PUKED WITH THE DOOR OPEN WHILE DRIVING ON THE ROAD AND OMG WE NEED TO CHAT BUT NOT ATM CAUSE THERES PUKE ON MY PHONE
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
As we were passing the joint around, people were dunking Jenga pieces in Vaseline and sticking them to the window. I also smoked weed with a girl that was in an above the influence commercial.
I just used a beer funnel to put gas in my car
I feel like I missed the land of milk and honey and instead wound up in the land of beer and pizza. And yet, I think I'm happier here.
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
He stole me a cantaloupe and we drunkenly broke into a park and ate it on a bench with my pocket knife. I think i need to marry him
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
Randomize
