Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
Dude, no joke... I lost my wedding ring in some skank last night
The worst thing that has ever happened to me happened today. I was taking donations at goodwill and someone donated a clearly used vibrator
you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
there's got to be a less slutty way to tell him the baby isn't his
I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
I dont think a "sorry ive slept with most of your teammates" text will do much
Why the hell did you invite him? He's gonna bring two more inches of dick and zero fun.
I just used a thesaurus to write a sext...
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
I opened my bookbag to put my laptop in and I found two granola bars and a pregnancy test. I am clearly prepared for life
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
Randomize
