i would rather give Shaq a handjob than take this accounting final
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
worst part about day drinking... waking up to george lopez
There was a note in my hello kitty underwear telling me "don't go over 9000"
I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.
He told me about how he pissed his pants last weekend like it was a normal part of conversation. Within 10 minutes I was going home with him. I think he put me under some kind of spell.
I was just lying down, dumping goldfish into my mouth and they like all came out I thought I was going to choke and die and people would be like damn that's so sad, she died laying in bed stuffing her face and reading kanye wests twitter, damn.
He described his sex dream about me using only emojis
We need to get me chipped asap
Its the damn oven. I think it wants to eat me.
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
I'll tell you all about it in person but let's just say the big dick fairy must really like me right now
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Randomize