I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
There's a wake for a coworker on 420 during te time of 420... Hoping everyone will be too sad to notice how high I am.
i will trade you pizza and a blowjob for a fifth of vodka.
do i get to eat the pizza while you give me the blowjob?
Evidently I told a girl she should leave the bar because no one wanted to fuck her.
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
if I see a bottle of vodka right now I'll probably throw up gum I swallowed when I was a kid
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
You are the voice of reason. And I'm bringing wine. Like seriously this is his last chance. Don't touch me once, shame on you.. Don't touch me twice, shame on me
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
Will you bring a case of beer down to the hot tub? Me and Phil don't want to feel feelings anymore
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
Smargarita sloshedurday tomorrow around 2
Bring a helmet for your liver
You went outside, peed in the front yard, and asked me to bring you some toilet paper.
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
Randomize
