Sorry I thought I was a lizard earlier.
He played with my vagina like it was a turntable
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
Seriously. Come back. I've had two beers for breakfast so far. The third will be for lunch since it's already 12.
Also, I just realized you seduced me while in a batman onesie... Well done, sir. Well done.
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
Just fell out of the attic onto the garage floor. Okay but might go for an x ray. Smashed one of the kitchen drawers to bits.
Holy Shit Mom
Randomize
