One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
Upon hearing of his newfound access to every orifice... even ones he just made up... the Grinch's penis grew three sizes that day.
Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
He wants to be 'in an open relationship'. Fuck that. That's the online equivalent of letting him pee in a circle around me.
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
I have three different pairs of earrings at three different houses including your 16 year old brothers nightstand. Look at my life. Look at my choices
I literally ate pizza on a toilet and made up reasons as to why you should make out with that boy. I am unstoppable.
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
I can empathize with sociopaths, serial killers, demons, gods, and monsters....straight white males are literally the only barrier to my 100% empathy rate. I don't get it.
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
Randomize