is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
There's a paramedic out here, what have you done?
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
remember to ask your mom about the name of her pet duck so we can name the bowl
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
Shout out to this stomach virus for helping me prepare for whatever slutty Halloween costume I decide to wear.
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
I prefer to think of hangovers as extreme sobriety, which can only be cured by more booze
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
Randomize
