He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
you got kicked out last night because right after you said "whats up?" to us, you downed your whole vodka ton and threw it across the bar.
she made me cover her fishbowl with my shirt because she "didn't want to corrupt it."
i watched you ride a mechanical penis. nothing is awkward between us anymore.
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
It is. We should just be drunk all the time forever everything is like just 90% more perfect
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
There's some band that practices next door to my apartment. I'm thinking we may need to check that out. I could be like, "Hey boys, thought you might like some lemonade and vagina."
Went to put my shoe on and asked myself why I left a sock in it. I didn't. Needless to say I found our used condom.
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
Randomize
