return my video game
I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
Dry humping a girl for an hour and then jizzing in your pants doesn't count as losing it.
I think i found my new favorite workout. Go to a party where you dont know anybody and constantly walk around the house so you dont look awkward standing alone. im up to 1.8 miles
guys are only as good as the porn they watch
Sharpest. Poop. Ever.
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
Listen here, Ms. "I'm Gonna Get Super Drunk and Run From My Friends Screaming That They Were Going to Drag Her to a Scientology Recruitment Camp"...
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
He went down on me and then made me breakfast in bed. He's a man you can bring home to mom.
Is it wrong for me to wish my cat had arms to get me a beer?
Randomize
