If you die in college, do you die in real life?
Just got kicked in the balls by a girl in tap shoes. Fuck EVERYTHING
No, but its not like diarrhea. i swear its like my intestines had a secret bank account and i just punched in the right pin.
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
Looked for my lighter in the console and found more tampons. Seriously. You're like a squirrel prepping for a hard winter. A menstruating squirrel.
The rest of the concert I just stared at the lights and didn't really listen to the music cuz I was trying to make sure my brain still worked cuz my face was numb and I couldn't move... Yeah I'm not a weed brownie person
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
i'm face down in a ditch right now please help this is not a metaphor for my life this is real.
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
He asked me how flexible I was and all I could think about was that time I threw my back out putting in a tampon.
Oh lord. I have no recollection. I just got up. Surveying the damage. Found phone with messages out by pool. Still have not located my top or determined when i stopped wearing it
Drunk me just want to text sober me for saving that half rack of ribs I loves you
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
Thanks for making me a drunk burrito last night and cutting it into bite size pieces, I always knew you were a keeper.
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