My entire life is one complicated drinking game
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
Please warn me if you ever end up in porn, cause I don't want to stumble across that on accident, okay?
multitasking: i'm now sitting up and smoking my joint.
The lady at walmart just said she is so happy im still alive....Was i that drunk on the 4th? Dont answer that
I'M MAKING HIKING PLANS WITH THE GIRL WHO IS DATING MY EX, THAT IS PERSONAL FUCKING GROWTH
he apologises profusely for spelling mistakes in his texts but doesn't care about cheating on me. priorities
The cop said he like my hair today. Please explain all other interactions with law enforcement, k thanks
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
My mom is worried I'm not eating enough protein so she's sending me 48 cans of tuna. That's not a typo.
He's a security blanket. A security blanket who FUCKS.
Randomize
