I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
I'm gonna keep this simple. I threw up in your pillow case. Sorry.
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
I didn't hate myself when I woke up today, that's improvement right?
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
My financial advisor filed my girlfriend's abortion under "investments" so my wife wouldn't find out
Do something fun then. Blow up the house or whatever.
How have you survived this long?
Dumb luck and a deal with the devil.
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
You’re better off without him. Actually, he’s better off without you and that’s what really matters
Randomize
