Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
I'm making a contract of things you're not allowed to put in my ass
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
I just threw up again because I opened my eyes... God is laughing. I resorted to taking the Mexican Dramamine because I feel seasick from walking. Not helping.
This is a mass text. I will facerape you if you bring me Fierce Melon Gatorade and 4 D batteries.
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
You pretended to be Borat in that weird slingshot bathing suit and then proceeded to send another dick pic/nude selfie and said you weren't naked because you were wearing a hat.
The NSA quit spying on phones. I'm sending you SO MANY dick pics.
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
The beauty of getting kicked out of college again is I can fuck my professor's brains out and she can't get fired now
I may or may not have puked near a bear on the side of the road this morning.
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Randomize
