Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
Just got judged by the front desk clerk, 2 maids and a security guard at the Sheraton. I've decided to use this as a character building experience.
Things I just found under my covers: protein bar, string cheese, vibrator.
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
What do you want to swallow. Press 1 whiskey press 2 rum
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
Moral of the story: always keep condoms in your bra
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
Dressing as mugato from zoolander Halloween you may want to be the hand model. We can get you a fish bowl filled with Clementine Vodka and soda you can put your hand in.
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
I'm twenty nine years old, now is not the time to start trying new drugs. I need a hedge fund...not another drug-induced hangover.
Random question, what's John-that-we-had-a-threesome-with's phone number? Don't necessarily need the full number, maybe just area code? Think I drunkenly ran into him last night and now I have texts from a John.
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
I feel like I purchased a one way ticket to hell last night and its non refundable.
Randomize
