I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
Lesson learned. Whipped cream will eat through a condom.
captain&coke to the library. STAT. this is an emergency. this is not a drill. I repeat: THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Drinking franzia alone at noon watching a cheese themed episode of "The Chew" I'm ready to admit I need a job.
Picking up hoes with my dad is going to make it a little harder, but ay, if thats how he wants to bond after 23 years, Ill give it a shot
apparently I crawled into someone's bed and demanded they call me 'big dog' before shotgunning a beer
How do I explain the handcuffs and tanning goggles on our living room floor? There's rope too. The cats love the rope.
He said I was cute and he handed me a stuffed bear from his car. I don't care that he was 80, I named it Hector.
Don't know why you're always hating on relationships. I've had chocolate pancakes accompanied by a blowjob and a blunt and it's not even 9 am. Time for mid morning shower sex. Enjoy your morning bong bowl alone asshole
I would have cried, probably tears of wine, but cried nonetheless.
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
Randomize
