I like my sex mixed with concussions.
Also, i'm pretty sure i've had my birth control pill stuck in my throat since like...two pm. So i'll be practicing safe oral sex tonight.
Annihilated within 20 minutes of arriving on Saturday, proceeded to hook up with him half a dozen times/almost have sex in the shed. Later on I text his boyfriend letting him know he's okay and that he's asleep next to me. If I could parlay this skill into a vital component of national security I'd be the Jack Bauer of homewrecking. Diner later?
I just left the house and 2 chicks are in the kitchen making breakfast. Might want to get up.
I'm up, no shirt, and staring at a breakfast casserole. Who are these girls?
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
well, I was going to forgive her anyway but not because shes my best friend and moreso because shes my drug dealer
Jesus christ it's been two texts and we are already talking about dildos
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
We can't go out this weekend. My uterus is so desperate it's given me permanent beer goggles
you're now officially the 3000 mile booty call. congrats.
I just bought condoms and a potted plant, making for a top ten super weird and awkward purchase.
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
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