The idiot babysitter thought my dildo was a teething toy and gave it to our child.
Did you put it in the freezer again?
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
I just found glitter on my vibrator... whatever we're doing has to stop
I walked into his living room and saw him watching the play-offs while eating tomato paste out of the can with a bottle of wine. I'm telling you to stop talking to him. now.
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
I was figuring I'd break up with her after work, but before Taco Tuesday
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
Bear grylls would be proud of my improvisation. Just used her vibrator to massage my back after hurting it at work.
Randomize
