Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
Is it possible to make a milkshake in a martini shaker or am I gonna need a blender?
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
He's so drunk he thinks he's the ultimate warrior. Told cops he was from parts unknown. Never broke character
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
he has a party story that rivals our "PTSD- soldier-with-a-knife" party story. I'm pretty sure this is part of some prophecy.
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
Im eating leftover Easter ham in a bubble bath. What has my life come to?
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
Randomize
