dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
dont seek real advice from me tonight cause its always gonna end with we should have sex
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
dude, i warned you that using a card to pay for my hotel room was a bad idea. You deserve the extra $600 in cleaning fees
do you remember showing me a picture of your husbands penis last night?
yea! the mushroom one. i would only show you.
I've started budgeting for next year. It looks like I'll be crying tears of dollar bills and handing them over to pay back my unholy college debt.
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
Who knew sons of strippers would be really feminist boyfriends?
Its nights like last night that make me want to high five my liver.
Randomize
